Road Trip To No Where
by DarthWasabi
Summary: The gang decides to take a road trip across the American landscape. Little do the group know that throughout all the food fights, pranks, the incident of shaving Lana’s hair off and musty coloured vans, that they will find out…Something really important.
1. Ready Set

Title: Road trip to no where.

Rating: PG-13 (But most likely gonna go up, cos people are gonna be cussing and such)

Summary: The gang decides to take a road trip across the American landscape. Little do the group know that throughout all the food fights, pranks, the incident of shaving Lana's hair off and musty coloured vans, that they will find out…Something really important.

A/N: Gah! I shouldn't be doing this…See, I know I shouldn't. I should be sitting down and working on finishing my year 12 projects and maybe a little study for exams.

Oh what the heck, I'll do it while I'm doing this…Yeah that can work. (My friends are gonna kill me, Oh well!)

I currently own pretty much nothing.

Prologue:

A screeching noise made its way through four humans and two Kryptonians ears. "Okay listen UP!!! Everybody put your stuff in the back in an orderly fashion. Cos' there's not much room back there. I tried to climb in there and got a tad squished. This baby was the cheapest 'van' Lois could afford for the trip!"

Lois' jaw clenched at her blonde cousin. "Hey! Appreciate my contributions, or so help me God…"

Chloe walked into Lois' personal space and puffed the black gym whistle into her face.

Lois blinked in surprise. "What the hell was that for?" she asked taken aback.

Chloe looked down at her green clipboard and then up at Lois. "On this trip you can have fun, get drunk, steal cars, dance naked on poker tables, heck you can even do the freaky with Clark. But you will NOT use exclamation marks while I'm on patrol, got it?"

"Chlo, what have you been smoking?"

"You know a little help with the bags and stuff would really be hot guys."

The two cousins spun around to the other four people standing around the van. Clark and Pete where packing the luggage into the boot like a game of Tetras.

Big red suitcase to the left,

Bigger pink one to the right…

Jimmy was busy checking the tires one last time, while Kara was pulling faces behind Lana's back, who watched the men heave the bags around.

The girls cocked their heads to the side and looked at them blankly.

Clark sighed "Fine…Lois, Kara help." The Kryptonian knew he had to get specific in this dire situation.

Clark and Pete eventually managed, with the help of Lois and Kara, to squeeze every last thing in the back of the musty coloured van.

Jimmy popped his head out the driver's window from inside the unfortunate van. "Kay gang, let's roll!"

They all climbed in, shifting and complaining about the tiny space until they all settled down in their given seats. Lois and Clark sat at the back, their knees almost up to their ears from the lack of space provided from the overflowing baggage. Lana, Kara and Pete (in that order) sat in the middle. Lana looked excited about the upcoming trip, Pete hi-fived Jimmy, Kara just looked ready to scream or was it cry because of who she was sitting next to.

Chloe jumped in next to Jimmy into the front passenger seat. "Now before we leave has…"

Clark put his hand up.

"What Clark?"

"Um…Why do Lois and I, the tallest I may add, have to sit at the back?"

"Yes Clark you may add that Lois and yourself are the tallest people of the group…" She looked around at the others. "Any other inquiries?" Kara opened her mouth, but Chloe cut her off. "No? Good."

Lois and Clark looked at one another incredulously before Sergeant Sullivan continued. "Right do we have everything?...Lana that question was for you. No lip gloss? No make up? No clothes?"

"No Brain?" Kara muttered.

Lana glanced into her hand bag. "No, no, I'm good." She then shot a blazing glare at Kara.

"Pete?" Chloe questioned

He shook a novel at her. "All set."

"Great" She slapped on her seat belt. "Okay start her up Jimmy."

"Hey! Tallest at back still!" Lois complained to the front.

Jimmy glanced back at her, but after being urged from Chloe to start the van, he shrugged at her and Clark and turned the key…

(15 minutes later)

Jimmy still tried to turn the key. "I think she's not working."

"Nice." Pete spoke while reading.

"Alright, I'll just go ring up a mechanic and THEN we'll be on our way!" Chloe jumped out the car.

Kara turned to look at Lois. "Hey LoJo…You got us a piece of – UMPH"

"And this is the bit where you stop fallowing the Lois Lane guide to sentences and turn back around." Clark said, as he covered Kara's mouth.

Lois smirked, Clark smirked back. Kara rolled her eyes at them and turned back around.

(30 minutes later)

Finally, the crew was chugging pass the welcome to Smallville sign with their musty crap box.

"On the road again

Just can't wait to get on the road again…"

"Smallville shut the hell up!"

"Lois, what did I say about exclamation marks?!"


	2. Location, Location, Location

**Chapter two: Location, Location, Location**

**(One hour and 3 minutes into road trip)**

You could cut the tension with a knife. No one moved. No one breathed. For they all knew that if they did…

Dire consequences would follow…

Jimmy had eaten a Mexican feast before leaving.

And they were all going to die.

Six pairs of frightened eyes watched their driver carefully. The poor man looked really uncomfortable. Red face turning redder by the minute. Left hand carefully massaging his gut, trying to ease away the pain. Eyes blinking way to fast because of the sweat that was dripping over his brow.

Jimmy could feel it. It was bubbling in his gut like a firecracker waiting to go off. He did it, Chloe had told him not to, but he still did it. That tempting plate of assorted tacos was just too much.

Jimmy had a bad case of taco induced gas.

And they were all gonna die.

"Guys…I got to let one rip."

One statement. So much reaction.

They moved as one. "STOP THE VAN!"

Unclipped seat belts. Opened doors. Jumped out for the clear air of the outside world.

Unfortunately, not everyone was successful with their seatbelts. Pete scrambled for the release clip and pressed down with all his strength. Nothing budged. Pete's eyes widened to the size of tennis balls. He glanced around feverishly, limbs were flying everywhere, people were looking out for themselves. No one noticed Pete was in trouble.

Jimmy rested his head onto the steering wheel. He puffed out his cheeks like a chipmunk, trying to keep the monster within calm. A sudden gurgling noise from his stomach alerted him. Time was running out.

"Guys hurry up! I can't hold on!"

Pete pull at the black strap that held him in. "No! Someone help me!"

Clark was about to leave the vehicle, but stopped at Pete's words. He turned back towards his desperate friend. "Pete…Hang on!"

"IT'S COMING!" Jimmy hollered to the heavens.

Pete's eyes locked with Clark's. Clark bit his lip, glancing at Jimmy, tapping his fingers on the hood of the van, thinking…

"On second thought…"

"Don't you dare." Pete warned. "Don't you even go there! Don't leave me!"

Clark shrugged. "Sorry."

"NO! TRATOR!!!!!"

With that the van's door closed. Encasing Pete with his fate…

Outside, they all waited for the inevitable. A trumpeting noise snapped them to attention.

"Oh God, That poor animal…" Lana said.

Kara rolled her eyes. "Lang, that's no animal dieing... Jimmy farted."

Lois winced. "You know, I wouldn't say that just yet…"

"Whoa, It just keeps going! That's kind of amazing." Clark said in awe.

Lana wrinkled her nose. "That's kind of gross."

Lois smiled. "That's the human body Lana."

Chloe closed her eyes and groaned. "It's going to take forever to air that out!"

Kara laughed at the pure horror in Chloe's voice.

A piercing silence stopped any further comments. None of them moved a muscle. A tumble weed moved behind the group, who watched the van with horrified interest.

Suddenly Pete screamed out as the smell hit his senses from inside. They all winced at the sound.

Lois nodded, eyes never coming off of the van. "And there is your dead animal Lana."

* * *

**(Three hours and 56 minutes into road trip)**

Windows were opened as the musty yellow van went across the road. Jimmy, after releasing the monster, slept contently in the front passenger seat as Chloe now drove in his place.

Pete however was not content. After throwing up on the side of the road when the others had released him, he no longer was the happy camper that he had been at the start of the trip. He sometimes would glare back at Clark, who looked sheepishly back.

Lois watched the two look at each other for the seventh time and silently laughed. Smallville was in the shit now, and he knew it.

"Hey Sullivan…Where're we actually going?" Kara spoke up, looking at everyone. "Am I the only one who doesn't know and just came because my cousin told me to?"

Everyone looked thoughtful for moment, before answering Kara's question.

"I thought we were going to…"

"Indiana"

"Michigan"

"Utah"

"New York"

"California"

"…Australia"

All eyes whipped over to Lana. Lois blinked, not quite believing what she heard. "Um…did you just…" She glanced at Clark who was shaking his head sadly amused.

"She was never that great Geography."

Lois nodded "Ah. Of course."

Chloe watched the car's occupants in the rear view mirror. "We're going to where ever the road takes us my friends!…Ooooh McDonald's, Who's hungry?"

Kara leaned forward horrified. "You don't know where we're going…Do you?" Her voice went up an octave.

Chloe smiled. "Not a clue."

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

* * *

**(At McDonalds)**

The seven friends sat at three spread out tables. Kara was busy trying to convince Clark to let her fly home or at least call the police.

"This is kidnapping Kal, kidnapping!"

Lana was arguing quietly with Jimmy and Chloe about the state of the bathrooms.

"I didn't think the sink was supposed to be that low.

"Yeah…"

"Did you two go into the ladies, or the men's?"

(Pause)

"…Oh god!"

"I wondered why that woman looked hairy."

Lois and Pete were still waiting to be served. Pete pulled out his wallet, still giving Clark angry glances.

Lois smirked "You know, if you look at him long enough, he may all of a sudden combust into thin air." She snapped her fingers. "Just like that."

"He broke the bro code." Pete explained. "That's why I'm a little peeved off. He left me to die!" He bowed his head.

Lois looked uncomfortable to say the least. Here was a guy she kind of knew and he was bowing his head complaining about a bro code…In the middle of a line full of other people. "Okay…Let's not get over board now." She tapped his shoulder, hopefully comforting.

Pete looked up at her, like he'd never seen her before. He pointed at her "You. You can help me." He grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her out the line.

"Hey I was being served!"

"That doesn't matter. Lois Lane, you have just been chosen."

Lois sighed, why was it always her? "For what?"

"I'm going to get Clark back. Do you know the word: Prank?"

Lois cocked an eye brow, a smirk creeping onto her face. "You've got my attention Mr Ross. By all means continue…"

Yes, Smallville was in the shit now…And he had no idea what was coming.


	3. To annoy is to serve

**Chpater 3: To annoy is to serve**

* * *

**(5 hours and 27 minutes into road trip)**

The sun had begun to set behind the horizon. Stars that became invisible during the day, started to twinkle with mischief in the twilight sky.

As did the hazel eyes of one Lois Lane.

After finishing lunch everyone had scrambled into the van, but now Lois was sitting next to Pete and Lana, while Kara was in the back with Clark. Clark looked over at Lois and Pete, who had their hands together talking quietly. His frown made his face scrunch in disgust. Why had Lois suddenly wanted to change the sitting arrangements? He wasn't the one who ate tacos now was he? No, he wasn't!

Kara turned away from the passing scenery of grass, grass, grass, Oh and would you look at that…More grass. She sighed as she watched her cousin watch Lois and Pete.

"You, my dear cousin, have got it bad." She said under her breath, knowing that he would have heard it.

Clark's lips pouted slightly, as his eyes now watched her. "I don't know what you're talking about." He mumbled through gritted teeth.

"Uh huh, sure."

"Kara, I'm just worried they're up to something. I don't like the look in their eyes, especially Lois'. She got that twinkle…you know, the dangerous one."

Kara laughed "Uh huh."

"Hey want to take a test?" Lana unknowingly interrupted. Clark jumped at the chance of changing the topic at hand.

"Sure thing Lana, we're both in."

Kara did a double take at Clark. "Wa-hey, no we are not 'both in'. I was never 'in'. I am not 'in'."

"Ok so Kara you're first…"

Kara rolled her eyes and glared at her cousin "Bitch." She whispered at him.

"You love me. You have to, I'm your cousin." He whispered back, smiling.

Lana slapped the cracked leather of the back of her seat to gain their attention. "Hey are you gonna listen or not?"

Kara folded her arms "Can I say not?"

"Ok, 'which Captain Planet character are you?'" Lana read off the magazine's quiz title for her.

Clark moved forward some what and read the magazines heading. "'Kids Club Mag'". He leaned back into his seat. "Lana, are you serious?"

Lana, who had just finished writing in Kara's answers, nodded her head but not at Clark's question. "Kara you got the actual Captain Planet. Hey, good for you."

Kara's Sky blue eyes closed in dismay. "First I get Kryptonian-napped. Then_ she_ sits next to me. Then Jimmy let's go of God knows what. Then Pete almost throws up on me. Then _she_ talks to me when I'm not next to her.

And…ha…Now I'm a dude with a green mullet."

Clark put an arm around her. "Look at the bright side kiddo."

Kara glared at him. "_What_ bright side Kal? _What_?"

"You could've been the pig guy."

* * *

"Here are everyone's room keys. One for the boys and one for the girls. Don't want anyone doing the horizontal tango on the first night now do we." Chloe handed everyone their own key to the rooms. 

"Chlo, you and Jimbo are the only ones that have a relationship in the group." Pete said.

Chloe gave him an annoyed smile and went on. "Everyone get some sleep because we'll be shipping off tomorrow morning at 10 sharp, ok? Ok. Night guys."

The girls moved towards the lift, while the guys just stood where they were looking at the room they were given.

Jimmy gave a hollow laugh "You have got to be kidding me." He turned to the others. "Please tell me Chloe is kidding."

Pete and Clark shook their heads in dismay. One of them put his hand on Jimmy's shoulder while the other led the group downstairs towards their room.

The basement suite called for them.

* * *

Shoving the door open the three stumbled inside. The room was filled with the motels rusty pipes that had wispy cobwebs hanging across them. The room was almost pitch black, the only light coming from the open door. Jimmy, Pete and Clark watched the hanging light globe sway from side to side in the middle of the room. Three bags hit the cement ground, releasing a dust cloud coming up from no where and everywhere. 

"Well shit."

* * *

**(1:00am at the girl's room)**

The four ladies lazed around on the fluffy comfortable beds that come with the spectacular room. They wore the customary white bath robes, while watching cartoons on the TV. Kara smacked her lips together after eating another pillow chocolate.

"God I love motels!" Chloe and Lana just nodded their heads in agreement chocolate around their own mouths.

Lois smiled and rolled her eyes at them. With the three eyes glazed over as they watched Marvin the Martian perform a monologue about his doomsday device, they never noticed the door closing ever so silently...

* * *

A man waited next to the ice machine, an evil glint in his brown eyes. This was it. The ultimate betrayal was to be payed back in the most disgustingly devious way possible… 

A woman casually walked up to him. "So?"

He turned towards her cockily "His asleep."

The two set off down the hall. "And the other one?"

"Had a taco relapse, he'll be in the bathroom for another hour at least."

The woman laughed and sighed as they reached his door. "This is going to be SO worth the look on his face."

* * *

**(5:36am)**

The sounds of birds alerted his ears that the wonderful morn was upon him. A new day had ultimately begun. But he did not want to get up; surprisingly his bed was comfortable and warm, unlike the room he was currently staying in.

The wind played with the ends of his hair. Burying his face deeper into the pillow, he tried to end the unstoppable breeze…

Wait.

Wasn't the basement suite under the motel, thus having no windows?

Wait.

Why was this surprisingly comfortable bed moving gently?

Wait.

Why was he slightly wet?

Wait…

Clark shot up and wildly looked around. There he was floating in the lake next to the motel he was supposedly staying in. On the bank of the lake stood Pete Ross and Lois Lane laughing their asses off and taking pictures.

Clark's eyes turned into slits as he slammed his fits into the mattress, accidentally making the make shift boat sink. Thus, making those on dry land laugh even harder at his expense.

Clark spat out the water in his mouth.

Oh this was war.

His glare slowly turned into an almost 'Kal'-ish expression.

"The hunt is on…"


	4. What in the world

**Chapter 4:** What in the world has happened to Lana Lang?

* * *

**(8:09am)**

Ah breakfast, the most important meal of the day. It's one of the moments in a 24 hour day where you can sit down and interact with family and friends with warmth and kindness. It's where you start the day on a high.

Or you and the crew could end up sitting around the table in an awkward silence.

"This toast is really good huh guys? Best toast I've ever tasted. All buttery and everything. What about you CK?" Jimmy smiled over at Clark, trying to get a response out of his smirking friend.

"Ok, fair enough" Jimmy nodded his head uncomfortably at Clark's continuing silence and deciding to let the overall silence of the group go its course.

Pete shifted uneasily in his chair. He kept his brown eyes staring into the bowl of Cornflakes in front of him. Just a few hours ago he was having the time of his life nearly pissing himself at the sight of a wet and spluttering Clark clinging for dear life onto his floating mattress. But now, now Pete was about to wet his pants for an entirely different matter. Pete could have sworn that his friend had a slight red tinge to his blue eyes.

It was either that or Clark had indigestion…Pete prayed for the latter.

"Alright! Who's ready to get going?! Cos' I am feeling confident that today is going to bring us awesome adventures!" Chloe gushed. She tossed down her napkin and stood up to look at her friends who were not as excited about moving to the van as she was.

Kara idly pushed her bacon back and forth on her plate.

Lana stared blankly at the wall in front of her, drool starting to slip past her lips.

Jimmy yawned loudly as he cracked his neck.

Pete looked fearfully over at Clark, who folded his long fingers together in front of his face and smiled over a Pete like he knew what the meaning of life was and wasn't gonna tell a soul.

And finally Lois, Lois was currently over at the other side of the room inhaling the smell of sweet, sweet java from the coffee machine giving out free coffee.

Chloe sighed, a little exasperated at there actions. "Guys, come on, a least try to give me something here. Even a futile attempt would do."

Lois walked over to the table with a fresh cup of coffee in her hands. "Well I'm ready to go major pain."

"Gee thanks Lois." Chloe replied sarcastically

Clark finally broke out of his 'I know something you don't know Pete' state of mind and took his wallet out of his pocket. Pulling out a few bills he paid his share of the breakfast. "Come on guys let's just hit the road already. Besides, I overheard a few people talking about a county fair not far from here. We could go."

Chloe put her hand in the air. "All those in favour of local entertainment say I"

A chorus of "I's" came from around the table. Everyone but Lana got up and paid for their meal. Pete looked over at Lana, a little worried about the zombie-like state she was in. Kara saw the concerned look on Pete's face.

"Is she…"

Kara laughed. "Nah, she just had a lot of sugar last night. I guess humans can't take that much consumption in a small amount of time."

**(Last Night: The Girl's Room)**

Kara smiled in satisfaction as Lana's eyes glazed over unnaturally.

Observe an unhealthy Lana Lang:

Her skin was no longer glowing. Instead, it was pale and her forehead was starting to sweat from the strain of breathing.

Her normally silky black hair was now tangled and frizzy. The ends of her hair had some how become tucked into her shirt.

Long story short: Lana Lang had way too much sugar, in a very short amount of time.

Kara bit her lip at the sight of the small woman dancing to the music in her head. She really shouldn't laugh; really she shouldn't…

"BUUWWWHHAAAAA!" Kara was on the floor as if a piece of Kryptonite had smacked her in the face. Chloe came out of the shower still in the process of drying her hair with a towel. What she saw was not what any 'leader' would want to see. Her best friend (supposedly) dancing on top of the room's dresser screeching the words to some Hanna Montana song.

"What in all that is holy and good!" Chloe turned to where Kara's blonde head was just visible over the beds. "Kara, what did you do to her?"

Kara tried to put on the famous Kent 'I-don't-know-what-you're-talking-about' looking. "Nothing." Unfortunately, this Kent had not yet got it down to a pat.

"Nothing my ass" She pointed over to Lana, who was now attempting to make shadow puppets on the wall… without the shadows. "Look at her. Before I went to have a shower she was perfectly…Lana! And now she's…"

Kara eyes widened. "Sullivan, move. Now." She hissed

"Hey, I'm thinking here." She crossed her arms and pursed her lips. The famed Chloe Sullivan 'I'm-thinking-here-so-no-one-move-or-I'll-eat-you' look.

Because she had become slightly unfocused to the world, she didn't see Lana creep up quietly behind her. But Kara did. Now Kara really didn't mind Sullivan, she liked her a lot more than the day they had met. But did this young Kryptonian like her that much? Should she give another warning about the noisiest predator this side of the Milky Way?

Nah.

"I GOTCHA!!!!" Lana pounced awkwardly at her blonde friend. So awkwardly in fact she totally missed her target and slapped her face into the widow behind them with a loud THWACK.

Kara knew it.

That was it, the end of her rope.

She was going to die laughing.

She was on all four's again trying to get breath to her aching deprived lungs. "Lang…You got nothing."

Chloe on the other hand gingerly walked over to the unmoving Lana. "Lana? Are you ok?" She rolled her over and screamed.

Kara quickly got up and ran to the other blonde. "What? What- Oh my god…"

There lying on the floor, on Lana's face, was the reddest most painful looking mark in the history of marks. That was going to be one nasty bruise.

Chloe's scream woke up Lana from her unconscious state. "Chloe…Kara…Why does my face hurt?" Kara bent down, while Chloe went to get a wet face towel.

"Lang, you've got the biggest welt forming into the biggest bruise on your face."

Lana's fingers gingerly went up to touch her face. All along the right side of her face was bumpy and felt like it was on fire. "Oh God my face!" she glared at Kara "I'm never eating sugar with you again."

Chloe walked back in and bent down on the other side of her fallen friend. She carefully placed a wet white cloth on her face. "Hold that there and swelling should go down." Lana gave her an unbelieving eye. "Trust me Lana; I'm an expert at this. Do you know how many times Lois has done this?"

Another look. "Ok, you're right, maybe not like this situation…But none the less. Lois is a danger to all glass things around the world."

Kara sat down onto the bed closest to her. "Speaking of Lois…Where'd she go?"

**(Back to present)**

"And that is why Lana looks like a zombie this fine morning. Her brain cells haven't regenerated yet."

Pete gave her a look mixed of pity and shock. "Damn" He looked over at her. "Why hasn't she got…You know…" He moved his hand slowly down the side of his face.

Kara waved her hand in the air. "Oh that. Luckily we girls know how to use make up to its maximum value." She looked over at the sad figure slumped at the table. "You can help me get her to the truck."

Pete stopped her mid step. "I though you didn't like her?"

Kara shrugged "I don't, but I do feel sorry for her. Let's go."

"You're just a big softy like your cousin." Pete smiled.

Kara smiled back "Yeah, like my cousin…Who right now is going to take you hell. What? Forgot about that already?" She stepped past him and walked over to Lana.

Pete looked down to his feet, eyes wide.

His was going to die.


	5. Project

**Project Epilogue:**

All of his life people have thought that he would always be the one to never do anything spectacular. Even his friends who know his secret have thought that Clark would eventually have 2.5 kids with Lana and live in a nice two story house with a white picket fence at the front. Well he didn't end up with Lana now did he? Right now Clark loved the life of being a bachelor, looking out for random people who get themselves in trouble with other random people who have evil looking do-dads.

And he knew that he had, had enough of his friends and people in general thinking that he, Clark Kent, couldn't do anything that could possibly be hilariously stupid.

His was a male damn it! And it was time for him to step up and take the role that had been passed on from generation to generation of the human race.

Clark was going to prank Pete and it was going to go off like a house on fire. Or so help him…

Oh and of course Lois… but luckily for her agent Kent executes his plans of domination and humiliation one person at a time.

Operation Epilogue will begin now.

Clark smiled to himself as his eyes looked back at Pete in the rear view mirror. His friend was literally sweating buckets; Clark could see the beginning of droplets on his forehead. His clear blue eyes went back to the road to find a parking space near enough to the fair grounds so that the group could walk and not have to pay for a spot inside.

Parking perfectly, Clark put the hand break on and turned around to listen to Chloe's plan for the day. She unbuckled her seatbelt and looked at her posse. "Okay guys you have two options, we can go in one big group or split up when we get inside. Personally I think it would be better-"

"You want to go in a big group don't you?" Kara interrupted.

Chloe blinked and smiled a little irritated at the other blonde. "Well yes-"

"Great, I wanna go in two groups." Kara smiled back.

Chloe clutched her jaw. "Fine, but I just think it's safer if we-"

Pete jumped at the chance of not being in the same place as Clark and supported Kara's idea. "Wicked, two groups it is! Everybody out!"

The seven friends climbed out of the van and walked towards the fair's entrance. Lois leaned over to whisper in Kara ear. "You did that just to annoy her huh?"

Kara put a blatantly fake shocked expression on her face. "Who? Me?" She pointed to herself. "No." She then smiled coyly at Lois and quickened her pace. Lois just laughed under her breath at Kara and shook her head. "That one learns fast."

Stopping at the gate Clark turned to everyone. "Alright, I think we should go with the people who want to do the same things here and… Lana are you feeling ok?"

Lana was leaning against the fence staring at an ant on her shoe. "Fine" She mumbled.

"Well, I'll be going to the sideshows." Jimmy suggested. "I could be leader of one groups maybe?"

"Great!" Chloe put one hand on Jimmy's shoulder and the other on Lois'. "Lois you got the other group."

Lois quickly pulled away from her cousin. "What? Oh, hell no. See I was just going to get some fairy floss, rip off a few carnies and that's about it. I am not baby sitting some of these idiots."

Four heads whipped around to look at Lois. "Hey!"

Clark just rolled his eyes. "Listen Lois, I'm just going to get some food as well so I'll go with you."

Lois waved her hand in the air, absent minded. "Whatever floats your boat Smallville."

Clark beamed "Great! Kara you're coming with us-"

"What! Why?" Kara exclaimed

"Because I said so." Clark took and looked at Lana and frowned. "Jimmy you can have Lana…"

Jimmy shook his head. "No way CK, I have a freaked out Pete in my group already. You can have the other weird one."

With that, Jimmy, Chloe and Pete walked off towards the sideshows. Kara put up her hand. "Wait." Lois and Clark glanced at her. "We get stuck with THAT." She pointed towards Lana, who was now slumped onto the sidewalk babbling happily to her ant friend. Lois just nodded and started off in the opposite direction the others went. Clark shrugged at her as he helped Lana to her feet and went off to follow Lois. Kara was left standing on her own, watching their retreating backs.

She sighed as she dragged her feet. "You have got to be kidding me."

* * *

"Roll up, Roll up, try your hand at the hammer throw-"

"Ladies and Gentlemen, come on over and have a try at the famous-"

"WOO! Folks we have a winner!!"

"Knock over the pins, and you win a prize"

Chloe, Pete and Jimmy passed many stalls that tried to gain their attention, but to no avail. Tents lined both sides of the path that the little group took. Jimmy had a bounce in his step as he flapped the notes of money in his hand excitedly. He stopped in front of one of the many tents. His eyes sparkled as they locked onto one of the stuff toys that could be won. That purple monkey was calling his name and who was he to deny such a calling.

As Jimmy ran up to the vender to buy as many tickets as he could, Chloe dragged Pete with her to sit down on a bench to see if lady luck was on Jimmy's side. But her friend wasn't all that interested in her boyfriend's fortune. His dark brown eyes went backwards and forwards quickly, keeping an eye out for a potential prank attack from his so called 'Best Friend'.

Chloe noticed his sharp movements; her face showed just what she thought of him. "You're an idiot Pete Ross. Absolutely pathetic."

Pete whipped his head to hers. "What?"

Chloe rolled her eyes. "Listen it's not like Clark's going to "Attack" you in front of the many people here. Oh AND he won't do anything when you expect something."

"So what do you suggest?"

Chloe patted his leg. "Relax! Read your book or something."

Pete laughed out breathlessly "Yeah, I think I might do that." He pulled out 'Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows' out of the backpack that held all of the groups stuff.

Chloe noticed the book. "Aren't we a bit behind the times?"

Pete opened the book to where his book mark was. "Hey I'm nearly finished and…OH MY GOD!"

Pete's outburst made Chloe jump and smile uncomfortably at passing people who looked just as surprised at her friend. She slapped him on the arm. "What's your problem?!"

"My…It…The epilogue's gone!" Pete stressed, flipping through the book.

As the pages turned a piece of notepad paper fell out. "Pete, this yours?" Chloe picked it up and examined it carefully.

Pete watched her. "No…" He looked back at his book. "What the hell? I want to know what happens!"

Suddenly Chloe laughed. "Pete…you'd better read this."

She handed him the piece of paper.

* * *

_To Pete,_

_Did you really think you get away with wetting my favourite pair of jim-jams? I think not. I now call a war my 'friend', each prank needs to be better then the one pulled previously by your opponent. Now enough about my proposition and more about my prank._

_I am currently holding your epilogue hostage. If you ever want to see it again, follow the clues that you'll find around the fair. Oh and don't even think about trying to find me 'cos I want tell you where it is…That wouldn't be fun, now would it?_

_Good luck, you're going to need it…_

_With love,_

_Clark._

_PS. Sucka!_

_Clue 1:_

_I'm here in a tent, Can you find me?_

_If you can't, don't worry._

_I'm sure if you follow the yellow brick road…_

* * *

Pete re-read the note three more times. "WHAT IN THE NAME OF HOLLY CHRISTMAS!?!" 


	6. Chloe, Jimmy and Pete oh my!

**Chapter 6:** Chloe, Jimmy and Pete oh my!

"_Follow the yellow brick road…_ Well that's interesting."

Chloe scratched her chin thoughtfully. Ten minutes had past and she was left to try and figure out Clark's clue. All the while Pete was cursing the black haired Kryptonian next to her, offering no help what so ever.

"Jimmy!" Chloe called. "Come over here a sec."

Jimmy, who was currently cuddling his purple stuffed monkey, walked cheerfully over to them. "Chlo, I got it!" He looked at the doll in his hands. "In you FACE purple monkey man!"

Chloe shook her head at him. "Jimmy…" She handed him the clue. "Where do you think this is?"

Taking the paper out of her hands, the young man pushed the purple monkey into Pete's face. "Here, hold on to Schnitzel for me."

Pete gave an unsure glance at the toy. "Schnitzel?"

"Just hold it." Chloe sighed.

Jimmy gave Chloe a smile and read the clue. "Hmm, _Follow the yellow brick road_…Well isn't that interesting."

"That's what she said." Pete groaned indicating towards Chloe. "I'm never going to find out the ending. Clark you bastard!"

"Hey! Do you want the help or not?" Chloe asked. Only a shrug was given in reply. "That's what I thought." She smiled.

* * *

"Kal can I go to the-"

"No"

"Kal can I go over-"

"No"

"Kal what if I-"

"No."

"Kal are you-"

"No"

"Kal maybe if I-"

Lois stopped mid step and she snapped, badly. "For god's sake Smallville, just let her do _something_ or it's your big ugly head. Got it?"

As Lana was still in her sugar coma, she didn't notice that Lois had stopped in front of her and she bumped destructively into her back. The two women fell to the ground in an ungraceful heap. The cousins look at one another and then towards their friends in the dirt.

Kara bit her lip, "I know we shouldn't…"

Clark shook his head. "Nah, it's best if we do it now. You know, get it over and done with."

And so with the count of three they flung their heads back in laughter at the sight of Lois still trying to untangle her legs from under Lana.

"Shut up," she muttered through her gritted teeth. Lois bent down and helped Lana to her feet. "Lana you ok? Or are you still dancing with the fairies?"

Lana winced at the pain in her neck and head. She looked at her surroundings and her eyes landed on the watery eyed Kara. "I am never going to be alone with you ever again." Kara burst out with another round of fresh laughter. She groped for the building next to her blindly. Her back hit the wall behind her and she slid down it slowly, all while laughing at Lana's statement.

"This is the best road trip I've been on… EVER!"

Lois shook her head and bent down beside her. "This is the _only_ road trip you've been on…ever."

Kara abruptly stopped laughing and glared at the older woman whom she looked up to. "Shut up."

Clark watched Lana with mild interest.

"What?" Lana self consciously asked.

Clark jumped slightly at the question. "Nothing, nothing…" But he continued to look at her.

Lois and Kara got up and stood either side of Clark. "What 'cha staring- Holy crap! Lana, your um…"

She looked over herself quickly. "My what? My what?! Oh dear god, my what?!"

Kara gazed at Lana's eyes, her mouth hanging open. "Ok, Lang…I am so sorry I didn't mean for that to happen…"

"WHAT!!" Lana screamed

Clark put a sympathetic hand on her shoulder. "Do you have a mirror?"

"Y-yeah in my handbag. What's going on?" She handed him the bag.

Clark rummaged through the bag intently. "Here we are. Um, Lana…Just don't…"

"Freak out." Lois put in.

Lana's brown eyes looked into her mirror. What she saw not only made her terrified but also slightly confused. Her reflection showed her flawless face and hair, but also her eyes…Some how her pupils had dilated so much they were almost the size of her actual eye ball.

"AHHHHHH!!!!"

* * *

Jimmy led Chloe and Pete through the numerous people at the fair.

Pete trudged along next to Chloe.

"You're pathetic," she muttered to him.

Pete glanced angrily towards her. "And the last time you said that, I lost valuable information!"

Chloe rolled her eyes and called for Jimmy to stop. "Pete, why don't one of us tell you the ending. The book's been out of months now and we've both finished it."

Jimmy touched her arm. "But that's missing the whole point Chlo."

"Yeah." Pete agreed, but then looked at Jimmy. "It is?"

Jimmy took them both by the shoulders and started to walk again. "Yes. Don't you see, this is a game my faithful companions. A game of wit and stealth. Of imagination and teamwork. Unknowingly, today we have chosen our team mates for the prank war and we have to stick together. Help one another out as only a team can. So you see, telling him the ending would be shot gunning pass the inter point of team work."

Pete wiped a tear away. "That was beautiful Jimmy"

"Yeah that was awe inspiring Martin Luthor King." Chloe said sarcastically "But how is not telling him NOT helping him through team work?"

Jimmy and Pete stopped and looked thoughtful for a moment.

"It just is." Jimmy answered. "Anyway here we are." He gestured towards a fortune tellers yellow tent. The sign above read 'Follow the road to your future with Madam Barry'.

"This is where the next clue is…With a dude dressed as a lady?" Chloe asked.

"Who cares? That he-man has my piece of paper!" Pete ran into the tent quickly, leaving behind his two friends outside.

Jimmy shrugged his shoulders at Chloe and walked in after him.

Chloe sighed and looked at the sign once more. "A fortune teller… 'Cos that's original Clark."


	7. Out of the tent, into the pig pen

(By the way…This is a long one, and when I mean long one… Well, it's just long! So... Wasabi is currently in proud mode...DON'T PUT WATER ON MY FLAME!)

**Chapter 7:** Out of the tent and into the pig pen

"Welcome to the beyond…" A deep airy voice greeted the three friends as Chloe finally entered the tent behind Pete and Jimmy. A voice which they all noticed was a little too deep. "Hello children of the future. Come hither into my humble aura."

Pete leaned over to Jimmy. "You know for a moment there, I thought he was going to say 'Children of the corn'."

Jimmy nodded solemnly. "As did I my friend. As did I."

Chloe pushed Pete forward. "Ask for your clue so we can get out of here. This place gives me the creeps."

The light from the numerous candles lining the tent sent shadows dancing along the fabricated stone walls, making it seem like they were in a medieval dungeon. Sitting at the far end of the tent sat, who Chloe assumed to be Madam Barry. In her old tattered purple dress with a frayed hem. A black scarf hid what colour her hair was but it was obvious that her head was cleanly shaven. Unfortunately Madam Barry's face was not. With three day regrowth on the cheeks, the only people who could be fooled were two year old children.

Pete stepped up to the table which Madam Barry sat at. "Listen, do you have a clue or something for me. My name is-"

"Pete, this I know already." Madam Barry's hands worked around the large crystal ball in front of her.

"Oh she's good." Jimmy whispered to Chloe. She cocked an eyebrow. "She can read Jimmy…Pete has his name on a name tag he bought at the front gate. Why? I don't know."

"Yes Pete, I have a clue for you from you companion Clark. It said-"

Pete interrupted "Woah, what do you mean 'it'? Do you mean 'it' as in past tense?"

Madam Barry nodded. "Yes…It said-"

Jimmy stepped up next to Pete. "Hey, it's his clue, or it was, what happened to it?"

Madam Barry shifted her cold blue eyes to Jimmy. "It was unneeded by destiny." She looked back to Pete. "Now, your clue said-"

Chloe slapped a hand on the table. "Where's the clue mama Baz?"

"Aright, fine!" Madam Barry's voice lost the mystical edge to it and became even more deep and manly then before. "Your God damn clue was eaten by the God damn pig at the petting zoo. You happy now you brats? Jeez, a guy tries to make a buck and what does he get…"

The three friends looked shocked for a moment. Jimmy was the first to snap out of the daze they were in. "Does this mean we have to slaughter a pig and drain its blood out so we can play a prank on a loser at the prom call Carrie?"

Pete blinked. "What?"

Jimmy turned to him. "'Cos I'll do it for the team."

Chloe pulled a pen and paper out of the bag on Pete's back. "Just tell me the clue and we can go about our business."

"Ok well the tall kid named Clark gave me a clue that said…"

* * *

_I see you have discovered where my brother hid_

_But do not smile I am just getting started, _

_What you search for has already been told_

_So do not diddle and be slow_

_Or else your epilogue's fate will be cold,_

_(I'm gonna put it in liquid nitrogen Pete)_

_Happy hunting, _

_Love Clark!_

"Son of a…What kind of clue is that?" Pete was tempted to shred the note in two right then and there. But unfortunately or fortunately, depending on how you look at it, Chloe was holding the clue in her hands.

"Well, obviously we've been told where the clue is…"

Jimmy gripped Schnitzel tightly in one hand as he attempted to eat fairy floss with the other. "I could still-"

"No slaughtering of pigs! Wait, pigs…" Chloe bit her lip thoughtfully.

"Chlo, I don't think it would be that easy." Pete muttered

Jimmy put Schnitzel in the backpack. "Oh but Pete…maybe it is that easy. No, no hear me out. Maybe CK made sure Barry said something about the petting zoo so we would think that it might be at the petting zoo. _But_ he would also think that we could think that it would be too easy to be at the petting zoo and go wonder off somewhere else, spending our time looking for a place that doesn't have the clue but we've heard of it. _But_ the clue won't be there and it won't be there because in fact, it was so easy in the first place that it was right there in the petting zoo the whole time being sat on by a prize winning hog in the mud!"

"…Is it wrong of me to have actually understood what he just said?" Pete whispered to Chloe.

"In some ways, yes. But Personally I would say no because I also understood what he just said." Chloe whispered back.

"Oh good."

Jimmy clapped his hands together. "So what do you say guys, shall we go to the petting zoo when I'm right now or when I'm right later?"

* * *

"Welcome to the haunted house of dead, be terrified at the living creatures of the night. Vampires will jump out at you and suck you blood, werewolves will howl in the night before jumping at your throat, Zombies will drag their rotting flesh towards you with the intent to eat you brains…"

Doesn't that sound exciting? To bad Clark, Lois, Lana and Kara aren't there.

* * *

**(Fair nurse's office)**

"Alright dear let's take a look at these eyes of yours." The middle aged red headed nurse shone a bright light into Lois's eyes.

"Hey lady, you got the wrong LL. Your patient's over there." Lois pointed over to the door and over to her other companions. Lana, who was wearing her large black sunglasses, walked purposely to the nurse. "I'm having a little trouble with my eyes."

"Yes, yes of course." The nurse whose name was Betty, motioned for Lana to sit in a chair next to her. "Now let's see these eyes of yours."

Lana timidly removed her glasses and locked gazes with Betty.

"So? What's the verdict? Will Lang live to see another day? Pun intended." Kara asked.

Betty examined Lana's eyes intently before answering. "Your friend's going to be fine. The over abundance of sugar in her system has made its way into her eyes and affected them. But she just needs to go into a dark room for an hour or so and the swelling should go down." She smiled at Lana.

Lana's own smile diminished ever so slightly. Her nurse's teeth were straight, the straightest she had ever seen. Lana wanted to cover her eyes with her glasses again from the sheer whiteness of Betty's toothy grin. She could've sworn she could see her own reflection. That unnatural smile was just that, unnatural. The freaky kind.

As soon as Betty had her back to the group Lana signalled to Clark to get them all out of there.

Soon.

As in that moment.

Clark looked at the other two by his side, they had seen the message too. They then had an eye argument between the three of them on how to get out of there discreetly. Finally ending the little two on one argument, Clark sighed in resignation. Who was he to silently argue with Lois and Kara?

So instead of doing things politely and calmly like he wanted, he broke down and went with the girl's plan. So he sucked in a lungful of air and bellowed out.

"NOW!!!!"

Without using his super speed he got Lana up, as Lois hit Nurse Betty in the back of the head, knocking her out. Kara quickly flung the door open and ushered Lana and Clark out. She then turned back to Lois who was busy tying the nurse up with a phone cord.

"Lois, come on, we got to go!"

Lois got up and dusted herself off. She then pulled out a pen and a piece of paper and wrote:

_It was Colonel Mustard in the Dining Room with the revolver. _

"Ok," she smirked at her note. She then turned and grabbed Kara by the arm. The two of them ran out of the office right behind Clark and Lana. The girls laughed their heads off as they ran away. Clark just sighed again and ran with them.

* * *

**(At The Petting Zoo)**

The smell of animal excrement hit the noses of the group that had been dubbed 'Terror Schnitzel'. Chloe dry reached, it shouldn't have been that bad for her, because of all the time she sent at the farm, but all of those animals in that little tent…It was just too, too much. Pete shook his head to try and get the smell out of his senses, while Jimmy covered his nose with the neck of his shirt.

"Ok gang!" He turned to Pete, who still had Schnitzel's head poking out of the back pack. "Shaggy, you and Scooby go check in the basement." He put his arm around Chloe. "While me and Daphne go back to the shaggin' wagon and check for clues there." Jimmy finished with a slight wiggle of his eyebrows.

In the background the fair's loud speaker went on: "We have four suspicious suspects on the lose heading in the general direction of the rides. These four; three women and one man are crafty and willing to leave stupid clues at the crime scene. Be very careful around this group. Have a nice day."

Chloe hit Jimmy playfully in the stomach. "Too bad I don't swing that way, Velma."

Jimmy nodded. "Nice comeback…"

Pete clicked his fingers in front of their faces. "Hey! I need to find my clue…Now!"

The two separated. "Jeez, talk about mister non patient…" Jimmy mumbled.

"What was that?" Pete snapped.

Jimmy froze "Um…Jeez, talk about…Those…Dude let's go find your clue!"

Pete took the others by their shoulders. "It better have been…" He whispered to Jimmy. "Anyway, I think we should split up in here. Chloe go to the baby animals."

Chloe pumped her fist in the air. "Yes!" and ran excitedly to the baby ducklings.

"Why does she get the cute ones?" Jimmy complained.

Pete glared at Jimmy "'Cos I said so…You're going to the pigs."

"NOOOO! Wait, where are you going?"

Pete crossed his arms together smugly. "I'm going to the bunnies."

"NOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

* * *

**(At the haunted house)**

"Welcome to the haunted house of dead, be terrified at the living creatures of the night. Vampires will jump out at you and suck you blood, werewolves will howl in the night before jumping at your throat, Zombies will drag their rotting flesh towards you with the intent to eat you brains…"

"I think we should go here," Clark said as he stopped in front of the black building. Grey and black tattered curtains fluttered in the wind. "A) It's a good place to hide form the fair guards and B) Lana's eyes can get better. Two birds with one stone."

Lois smirked. "Please…You just want to get us girls in the scary house so you can protect us."

"No…Come on, I'll pay."

Lois was already half way to the paying booth. "Well, come on Smallville. Move it"

Clark stuffed his hand into his pocket to get his wallet out. "You just want a free ride." He accused.

"Yeah, 'cos walking around in a house with a badly made prosthetic Dracula is a heart stopping ride. I can't wait to throw up my jam doughnuts." Lois said sarcastically.

Kara and Lana smiled to themselves at the teasing duo and went over the paying booth after Clark's large form.

* * *

**(Petting Zoo)**

"IT'S NOT HERE!!" Pete yelled in despair, not noticing the stares of parents and children at his outburst.

A mud covered Jimmy picked straw out of his hair. "It was worth a shot…"

Pete punched Jimmy in the arm.

"Ow! What was that for?" Jimmy complained

Pete pointed a finger at him. "YOU were the one who said it would be here! But it's not here James…IT"S NOT HERE!!"

Chloe ran from out of know where and slapped Pete in the face. "Pull yourself together man!"

Pete blinked in surprise. "I'm sorry." He whispered softly. "I'm sorry Jimmy. I shouldn't have just blamed you. We're in this together…"

Jimmy patted Pete on the back. "It's cool, man. I forgive and forget easy."

Pete shook his head. "No. We're a team…I should've blamed Chloe too."

"See was-Wait what?" Chloe asked.

Pete smiled at her. "I blame all of us for this."

Chloe blank face snapped and she jumped onto Pete's back. "AH!! Jimmy get her off me!"

Jimmy, seeing his fellow man in danger, started to tap Chloe numerously on the face to annoy her. He did this while chanting 'We are the Champions' under his breath.

"What the Hell is going on here?"

The voice stopped the trio in their tracks. A very obvious ground guard crossed his arms together. "I think you three better come with me…"


	8. Author Note from a Ninja

(A ninja jumps down form a high ledge. It looks around and them gives you all a note. It the jumps away like the wind...)

(On the Note)

Dear faithful readers,

I apologized for lack of update. Darth Real life has taken me hostage and demand I study for my upcoming final exams.

But luckily I have dug myself out of my cell with a teaspoon and toothbrush and ran to my local Kmart and purchased a notebook and pen. So I was able to smuggle them back inside and wrote you all this note.

I had the next chapter ready. I swear it explained what was going on at the haunted house and such. It gave me the perfect opportunity to put in a line I always wanted Lois to say:

"This is so House of Dead, huh guys?"

But oh the humanity, it was crap. The chapter, everything. So I'm going to re write the whole thing.

Now the reason for this note:

Where/what do you want the crew to do next?

Let me know by giving the ninja a note of your own. (It's ok...He knows Naruto, who Knows me)

Cheers everyone,

Wasabi AKA Retired Ninja AKA The person formally known as prince.


	9. House of Jed Part 1

**Chapter 9:** House of Jed

"Something tells me we're a little too South, you know?…"

The seven friends from Smallville stood in front of an old house that stood at the very top of a bare and barren hill. Dead trees lined the thin, twisting pathway up to the first stone step of the dark veranda. Angry black clouds swirled around the very tops of the tallest tower. An omen of things to come most likely…

Clark gulped. "Are you sure this is the place?"

Jimmy bit his lip before answering. "Yeah, my uncle Jed said we could stay here as long as we needed." He walked out of the line to face them all. "Okay, so it looks a little on the…Dracula way of things. But trust me, its fine on the inside. I mean, I did spend a lot of childhood summer holidays here safe and sound." Jimmy looked thoughtful for a moment. "But then again that was before aunt Fran went crazy and chopped bodies in the cellar…"

Pete's eyes widened in horror. "Well that's it then." He pulled his backpack onto one shoulder. "I'm spending the night, in the van. Who's with me?"

Chloe and Kara put their hands up. "Oh right here!"

"Great!" and with that the three of them turned and sped walked back to the van.

"It doesn't have heating!" Lois called after them.

Chloe looked back "I'd rather be cold than stalked by the undead!"

"You four have fun, 'Kay?" Kara waved her hand frantically over her head.

Pete would have said something patronising, but he was already trying unsuccessfully to open the passenger door of the van.

The four remaining friends watched Pete push and pull with the help of Kara and Chloe. Lana leaned over to Jimmy. "Should we tell them we have the keys?"

"Nah." Lois said as she walked towards the house. "If they really want they can fight off all the ghosts and ghouls for them."

Clark and Lana shrugged on their over night bags and trailed slowly behind Lois and Jimmy. They never took their eyes off the gargoyles that apparently guarded the house. If they guarded the house or potential victims from entering, they didn't know. Another omen it seemed.

"This isn't going to end well."

* * *

Creak.

Creak.

"Jimbo, these floorboards suck." Lois plonked her overnight bag on the couch in one of the two living rooms. Paintings that could only be described as creepy, hung along the tall walls.

Jimmy walked around the large room aimlessly. "Yeah…You know I don't remember this place being so…"

"Bates Hotel?" Lois finished for him.

Jimmy halted besides the fire place. "Yeah…"

A jingle started to come from his pocket. But Jimmy took little notice, keeping his eyes on the painting of Lord Franklin Olson of Ginger, one of Jimmy's ancestors.

Clark slumped into the couch next to Lois' stuff. "Jimmy, your phone's ringing."

Jumping slightly, Jimmy nodded to Clark and dug into his pocket. "Thanks CK." Putting the mobile up to his ear he motioned for the three guests to make themselves at home. "Hello?"

"Jamie? It's your uncle Jed."

Jimmy rolled his eyes at the nickname. "Hey Uncle Jed."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…Uncle Je-"

"Boy!"

"WHO DAT!"

"Don't go rolling your eyes at me, kid! Listen, and listen good…"

Jimmy unconsciously leaned forward in an attempt to do as his eccentric uncle commanded. Lois and Clark glanced at each other. "Want to go explore?"

Clark shrugged. "Why not? Lana's already doing it." He pushed himself off of the velvet couch and walked out with Lois at his side. "Jimmy we're gonna find our rooms."

Jimmy just waved his hand for them to go, a worried expression on his face. Probably just another one of those omens.

* * *

In another part of the house, Lana flung herself onto the fluffy looking king sized bed. This room was hers for the night she had decided. With deep black curtains, violet walls and blood red carpeting it had a certain gothic feel to it. But she looked past that and looked on the bright side.

She swung her legs to one side of the large bed and padded over to the window. It had one heck of a view. Who knew the graveyard in the back lot looked less…dead in the afternoon sun?

"Aw, this house comes with everything…"

Lana's ears twitched as she heard Lois' distinct sarcastic tone seep in through the thin walls.

"…And what's that Lois? Mint chocolates on your pillow case? No wait, little shampoo bottles that you can take home? No wait! A bar of soap to wash your sailor mouth out, I can smell your curses from here."

Lana poked her head around the door frame and saw Lois snooping in the room next to her chosen one, while Clark's gaze watched her intently.

"Oh, funny man…No, I was just saying that everything that we need is in this room. My room."

Lois gestured towards a kettle and mug. "And look Smallville, tea and coffee making facilities!" She throw up a small packet that was next to the white mug, catching it on its way down. Reading the label on the plastic, her love for the room grew instantly. She tossed it over to Clark. "Chocolaty goodness Smallville. It even comes with chocolaty goodness."

"That's great Lois." Clark said dryly. His reaction to the chocolate cookies was not the one she had given. Walking past her he placed the cookie packet in its original spot. "Let's take a look at the size of the bathroom."

"Oh yes." Lois replied breathlessly, both her hands placed above her left breast. "You just take me where ever you want, you piece of man meat."

Clark stared at her. "I am not meat." He muttered. Lois wrapped her arm around his bicep, leading him into the tiled room. "Of course you're not Smallville. You're a Chicken."

"Still meat Lois."

"…Is it?"

Lana laughed quietly at them. She moved back into her room, smiling. This place really wasn't so bad; in fact it was kinda nice, peaceful, not to mention quiet…

"AHHH!!!"

The petite young woman jumped at the noise that had come from the room she had just finish spying on. Quickly, Lana ran to the room searching for the reason for the blood curling scream. She hastily burst into the bathroom.

"What's-" THWACK "-Ow!"

As she had burst into the bathroom at the speed of sound, Lana hadn't noticed Lois opening the clear shower door. Right in front of her.

"Lois, for goodness sake there's no need to…" He turned and spotted Lana on the ground. "Oh hey Lana, what are doing on the floor?"

"Oh you know." She sarcastically laughed, while rubbing the sore spot on her head. "Just checking if my friends were getting murdered, what with the whole yelling thing in the dark, creepy house, it gives you ideas." She glanced at herself into the small mirror past Clark. "Ugh, I have to stop getting injured with you people."

Lois winced at the raw skin. "My bad. There was just this complimentary body soap in the shower. I yelped from excitement, Smallville squealed like a scared little girl when he heard me." She shrugged.

"I did not." Clark denied "I was just…shocked, that you of all people can act like a girl." He nodded to Lana. "Sorry."

Lana shook her head in exasperation and walked past a glaring Lois back into bedroom.

"What did that mean?" Lois crossed her arms. "You don't think I can I act like a member of the female race?"

Clark gulped "No, It's just-"

"You don't think I AM a member of the female race do you?" Her jaw clenched.

"WHAT!?" His large hands came up in a peace offering. "Lois, please, I think you're…You're…"

"I'm what?"

"Overreacting."

"Ha, try again."

"Um, Attractive…?" He smiled sheepishly.

"Four words for you Kent, D. E. D. Dead." Lois turned away from him, hiding her amused grin from her victim. "Men. Only want things to grope for their self pleasure."

Clark side stepped around her. "Hey-"

Before he could utter his denial on the topic Lois put one of her hands on his shoulder. "I'm kidding Smallville, I know you way too well for this conversation to even continue. So there's no need to get defensive 'kay? Besides, we're a team and we're in this for the long run." She winked. "Inspirational moment over."

Going into the bedroom the pair met up with Lana and now Jimmy, who had just walked in at the same time as them. His face was hard and just a little frightened. 'Not a good thing' the three thought as a collective.

Omens suck.

"Hey guys, I just got off the phone with Uncle Jed and I got some bad news about the house." He wiped some of the sweat forming on his forehead. "There seems to be an itty bitty little curse running around in one of the rooms."

Lana slowly put up a hand. "So, what you're saying is…?"

Jimmy locked eyes with her. "One of us will become an axe wielding murder before we leave. Most likely they're going to be taken over by some sort of supernatural entity. Come to think of it, it's probably going to be the same spirit that made my Aunt Fran go a bit on the murderous side of life."

Three pairs of large, shocked eyes gawked at Jimmy. But their host just gave them one of his encouraging thumbs up. "But let's not dwell on that now. It's a vacation and who's hungry? Because I'm starved!"

* * *

(10:30pm)

Lois pulled back the silky black covers of her king sized bed. After eating micro waved lasagne with the others they had all retreated to their selected rooms. Tugging the bedding around her to keep warm, she couldn't help but sigh in content.

Boy, did she enjoy that tea and coffee making facility with the added chocolaty goodness. Deep down she knew bad dreams were most likely going to happen because of the sugar. But really, when did that ever stop her? Sighing again she closed her hazel eyes and attempted to fall asleep.

* * *

(11:45pm)

Growls and Demonic tongues was the noise Clark woke up to. Rubbing his eyes he glanced at his wrist watch to check the time. He had only been asleep for little more than an hour. Blinking out the last of the glazed look in his green eyes, he sat up trying to listen to the noise with his super hearing.

"No one can hear you scream when you're dead…UGHHHHH AHHHHHH GRRRRR AHAAAAAAAA!!"

Clark's eyes widened. Turning off his super power, he put his fist to his forehead. That was Lois' voice. Three things went through his head at this realisation. 1) She was trying to scare him and the others. 2) Jimmy wasn't kidding about the curse thing. 3) If it was the curse thing this would be Lois number 1004 time she had been possessed.

First time out of Smallville.

"I am the servant of evil, sworn enemy of all that is good and decent!"

Clark bowed his head as he rolled slowly out of bed. Taking his white shirt off his pile of clothing on the chair next to the door, he decided to check out what the heck was going on in this creepy house of Olsen.

Louder growls and inhuman noises infiltrated his ear drums as he stopped in front of Lois' bedroom door. Suddenly the wooden door flung itself open and Clark found himself face to face with Lois…

"Lois…?"

Her glazed eyes never blinked in the minute she stared up at him. "No. Lois is dead. I am Emily. Emily Rose."

Or maybe it wasn't Lois.

"Time to died, Clarkie AHHHHAAAAAAA!!!!!!"

"Oh God damn it."

* * *

(Outside…15 minutes into the future)

"Pete it isn't going to open, give it up man! Chloe and I did and look, now we're playing Texas Hold 'em." Kara never took her eyes of her cards. Sure they were a two and four, but she could bluff. Chloe's face was blank before her, so she was probably bluffing as well Kara scoffed inwardly. Banging went on in the background as Pete smashed a hammer against the van's metal door. She needed to concentrate; her new top was on the line along with Chloe's ring. But because of Pete's constant whining and scraping off van paint with various tools, it was bit difficult.

Chloe's eyes squinted up at Pete; she was fairing no better in this situation. "Pete, sit down and shut up. I got to win this and you're not helping."

"Yeah, what she said." Kara nodded over at her blonde companion.

Pete finally sighed in defeat. He dropped the black crowbar he had just found to the ground and sighed again. "For four hours I have been trying to get in this damn van…We should've gotten the keys off-"

"AAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

The three friends collectively turned slowly towards the house from which the scream came from.

Pete nodded and point up to the highest window. "What did I say? WHAT DID I SAY? See, now they're all being killed off by scary evil demonic stuff. FOOLS!" He plonked down next to Kara and folded his arms over his chest in a huff.

"Are we going to help them?" Kara asked quietly.

Chloe shook her head. "Only if they get out here."

"What?! Why?"

"Let me Chlo." Pete interrupted "Because Kara we, the three of us as a collective, are the final defence in this thing. The climax of this two shot chapter will only happen when all the characters are involved in the main story line, see?"

Kara blinked in surprise. "But you didn't want anything to do with this thing."

Pete smiled at her, patting her leg as if she was a child. "I also knew it was still going to happen, even if I did voice my opinion on the matter."

Another scream, sounding suspiciously like Lana, sifted in through the background of the conversation. Chloe looked back up at the black, cold house and whispered to herself.

"Those poor bastards never had a chance…"

* * *

(Inside…In present)

Evil!Lois stepped over an unconscious Clark. His crumpled form lay over the first step of the spiralling staircase leading up to the bedrooms. She gripped the suspiciously looing green vase in her hand tighter. Looking down at the young man, she gave a crooked smiled before lifting the vase above her head.

But as she swung down for the finale of Clark Kent's life, she stopped. She spied the blood dripping down Clark's wound onto the wooden floor. Her head cocked at the sight. Suddenly she ripped her shirt and wrapped the fabric around his large cut.

'Funny.' Thought Emily Rose. 'I certainty did not do that.'

She then once again swang the vase up and, ignoring the screaming from inside her, smashed the glass down onto Clark.

"Pity…he was hot…AAAHHHHHHHAAAAAA!!!!!!!"

* * *

**To be continued in part two of House of Jed…**

**Here's a little teaser to keep you wanting more:**

Lana Accidentally locks herself in the cellar. Jimmy then lets her out after awhile, holding a knife (They scream a lot at each other. Jimmy because it's Lana, Lana because Jimmy is holding a god damn knife)

Chloe and Kara have a heated debate on whose cousin has gone crazy this time. Flash back occurs showing a time when both of them had gone mad.

Chloe: "Always be prepared."

Kara: "CONSTANT VIGILANCE! HIYA!!!"

Pete: "Hey, it plays AM Radio…NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"

Big fight scene with the three and evil! Lois…


	10. Wack a Evil Lois

**Last time on Boy Meets World:**

The gang ended up meeting a strange part of Jimmy's past. Pete, Chloe and Kara decided to leave for the chapter, only to be thrown back in. While Clark, Lois, Lana and Jimmy take their chances with the holiday house from hell. Some how they all miss vital clues that one of them will be taken over by the soul of Emily Rose.

It turned out to be Lois…

Of course.

And now it seems like Clark is dead.

…While Jimmy and Lana run for their lives.

Jesus, looking back on this, I'm a terrible person for doing this to such treasured characters. Some, I may add, are over 70 years old.

But then again, Al & Miles have done worst…

Lois and Clark look good considering, hey?

**Chapter 9.2:** Wack-a-Evil!Lois

Her sobs from her tired body came out in tiny explosions. Her legs pumped faster then they had ever before. She was running from something, what, she didn't know. Wait, no she did know but she pretended she didn't. It worked every other time.

Not so good intentioned sounds had come from the room next to hers. And she, originating from Smallville, went into survival mode AKA secret squirrel round up. She had done what her metamorphosis' name implied.

Lana Lang scurried for the hills.

(But really she just went to the staircase down the hall.)

Her petite form slid around the corner sharply. The woman may be dense, she may be blind, she may cling to any life form that moves in her vicinity; but deaf the woman was not. Lana had heard Clark trying to get through to Lois and to her better judgement. But by the sounds that followed his speaking, he had fallen down the spiral staircase.

'Or he was pushed' Lana after thought.

So now running from a crazed Evil!Lois, who could be anywhere in the house, Lana whimpered. So far this trip sucked. Major ass.

She had lost count how many times her face had been deformed in some way. She had lost count how many times she had been embarrassed and humiliated. And now her ex was apparently dead. Killed by his other, other (possessed) best friend.

With her thoughts becoming more muddled, her eyes closed. It had been a new and often used reflex of hers. Close your eyes and the world will be sparkling with bright suns and charming bunnies. Oh, and diamonds really were a girl's best friend.

Unfortunately in the real world it meant you had no idea were you were going, because heck, your eyes were closed. Lana's feet tripped over the bunched up rug in the middle of the hall. Her body curled ungracefully in the air like some uncivilized Gymnast, she landed with a thud into a cold room she had not found before.

Lana sighed as her face was squished into the cool cement beneath her. The face was scrapped, she could feel it rubbing raw. Lana's jaw clenched and her eyes closed once more.

Inhale…Exhale….Inhale…

"AAAHHHHH, NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Lana screamed "My FACE! Again with the face! And it's BLEEDING damn it!"

BANG!

She jumped and twisted herself to look at the door she had fallen through. Open no longer it was. Quickly she picked herself up and tried to turn the doorknob.

Nothing.

She jiggled it again.

Nothing.

She scrapped her nails at the steel.

Nothing.

She banged on the door with all her secret squirrel might.

Nothing.

A cruel voice came seeping in from the other side. "Have fun in the cellar Princess, AAHHHAAA!!! Say hi to Jimmy's Aunt for me." And just like that Evil!Lois was gone.

And Lana was left in the locked cellar. The cellar in which Jimmy's Aunt Fran took her victims before she killed them with a butcher knife. Lana slid down the steel door pathetically.

"Well…Shit." Biting her lip, she inhaled again. "JIMMY!"

* * *

"Guys did you hear that?" Pete asked. "God damn it! See I said they were going to get murdered, but nooo, don't listen to the guy who left Smallville… Man I said, nay I stated, that I would not be in the scary chapter. Look where I am: The scary chapter!"

Chloe pursed her lips. "Ah, chill Pete. You only did that in the deleted scene, so it doesn't count. Go fish."

Kara picked up a card, before shuffling it in with her others. "Who do you think went crazy this time?"

Chloe shrugged, not caring. "Meh got me. Got a 6?"

"Damn." Kara passed her the card. "I think it's my cousin. Really, it was only a matter of time before the boy snapped. Do you have a king?"

"Here. No way, it's got to be Lois. My cuz has been begging to do the crazy dance since the good old high school days of 2004. Please have a 7."

"Sorry, Go fish." Kara smirked.

Chloe gave her a look "Ha, You are not."

Kara smiled cheekily. "You're right I'm not. Hey Sullivan, remember the time when they both went crazy?"

Chloe put her cards down. "Hey yeah, that was when they were making that thing right? When you just moved into the farm."

"Yep."

Pete bent down. "Wait, what?"

-

**(Flashback)**

"OKAY! NO ONE MOVES!!!"

Lois and Clark burst into the 24/7 store like a charged up supernova. Both of their left eyes were twitching and blinking at the sight of the inside of the store. They sprinted over to the counter, Clark pushing over a girl and her friends in the process.

Lois slammed her palms down hard onto the counter. "Where's your fruit and veg section?" She snapped in sickly sweet voice to the pimply guy currently serving them, not that he had a choice serving them of course.

"Um…O-over…"

"Where is it junior? I don't have all day."

He nodded to the left of the store "There."

"Where?"

"There!"

"Where?!"

"There!!!"

Lois whipped her head around in circles. "Where?!!!"

"Th-"

Clark suddenly lifted the teen up by his shirt. "DO YOU HAVE RHUBARB!!?!!"

"Oh God! Don't kill me."

"Answer…"

"It's in the back corner, BACK CORNER!!!!"

Knowing the kid had just wet himself, but not really in a caring mood, Clark plopped him as gently as he could to the ground and ran behind Lois to the back corner of the store.

Lois not noticing the stares she was getting, jumped into the selection of fresh vegetables and fruit. As she scurried in the leaves of the lettuce and juices of the squished mangos Clark's body was bouncy and twitching like mad. "Lois hurry up!"

"I AM Smallville!"

"Hurry faster!"

"Don't you yell at me!"

"I'm not yelling!!!"

"Yes you ARE!!!!"

"No you're YELLING AT ME!!"

"I'll show YOU who's…SUCCESS! Smallville pull me out, quick!"

With both strong hands on her hips Clark easily pulled her out of the Cabbage patch. In her own hands, was a deep red-ish looking Rhubarb fit for a king. "Go, go, go!" Lois ordered.

Carrying her over his shoulder in caveman style, the Kryptonian ran them over to the counter.

"How much?" Lois asked breathlessly.

The young man looked ready to faint. "We'd h-have to…Um…weigh it…" He gulped.

"What…?" Lois asked coolly.

"Um…"

Clark turned quickly; swing Lois around, to look at the boy himself. "HERE!" He slapped a note onto the hard wood and ran to the exit as fast as he could without hurting Lois or revealing his secret.

Back in the store the young man looked at the note. "But sir, they're on sale… they're only like, cheap…You gave me a $100 bill…"

**(End Flashback)**

Pete whistled in awe as he had never heard that story before. "What were they making, a nuclear bomb made of the stuff?"

Chloe and Kara looked at each other, then at Pete. "No." They said together.

"They were making Apricot and Apple Pie."

* * *

Jimmy glanced around the corner of the kitchen. He needed a weapon, like a baseball bat or a golf club or a…

"Spatula!" He picked it up and looked at it thoughtfully. He then shook his head with a frown. "Nah" He tossed it over his shoulder and continued looking through the many utensils in the kitchen.

"JIMMY"

He twisted his head. "Hello?" He whispered.

"JIMMY I'M LOCKED IN THE CELLAR"

Jimmy looked spooked. "Aunt Fran…?"

"JIMMY GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!"

His eyes hardened. "That is not Aunty Fran." He sighed and began pacing. "What do I do? Someone could be dieing in there. But then again it could be a trap. But then again someone could be dieing in there." He sighed again. "What would Jesus do?"

Stopping and nodding, he picked up the nearest thing in his line of vision and ran out quietly towards the cellar.

Stepping carefully Jimmy made sure to not make the floor boards creak under his weight. He already knew Lois was gone. She had chosen room 666 after all. Thinking about it now, he really should've told her about that picky number. Slowing his pace as he came closer to the cellar door, he gripped the object in his hands harder. Either Aunt Fran's soul was in there, Evil!Lois was in there or some random.

Jimmy was kinda hoping for the random.

Slowly he reached out to the door knob with a shaky hand. He gulped once, twice and placed his hand onto the cool metal. Tears started to go down his cheeks. "Who am I kidding? Jesus would've run out to the van."

Turing the knob carefully, he flung opened the door…

"AHHH!"

"AHHHHHH!"

"AHHHHHHHHHH!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!11!!!!!!!"

"AHH- Wait, Jimmy what are you screaming at?" Lana asked cautiously.

Breathing hard, he wiped his tears away. "Wait, what were YOU screaming at?" he shot back.

Lana rolled her eyes. "Jimmy, I though you were Lois. You were holding a damn knife towards my throat!" She pointed to the object Jimmy had picked up from the kitchen.

He looked at it and then back at her, then back to the knife. Dropping his arm he smiled sheepishly. "My bad. But I thought you were Lois as well. I had to be careful."

Lana walked pass him to get into the hallway. "Oh, that's what you were screaming at." She started to slowly walk away from the cellar.

Jimmy followed her carefully. "No." He whispered. "I was screaming 'Cos you look like Freddy Kruger with your face scrapped like that."

Lana glared at him. "Gee thanks Jimmy."

"No Prob- Lana what's that?" Jimmy nodded over to something on the floor a bit away from them.

Lana squinted at the dark figure. "I don't know. Listen, you keep a look out, I'll go check it out."

Jimmy nodded. "But I keep the knife."

Lana nodded back. "It's ok, I know some sort of kung fu. Just don't ask me to name it."

Creeping over to the silent figure on the floor Lana gasped, once she had rolled it over. "Oh my God." She locked gazes with Jimmy. "It's Clark, I think he's dead."

Inhale…Exhale…

Inhale…Exhale…

Inhale…

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!!!!!ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

* * *

"Come on, as if you did not hear that one!" Pete begged the other two.

Sighing Kara got up. "He's right; I can't concentrate with all that going on in the background anyway."

Chloe did likewise. "I guess this is the bit in the chapter where we three defeat the Evil!Cousin."

Walking around to the boot of the van Chloe started to pull out different parts of strange look equipment.

Pete gave her a double look. "Hey, how'd you open the van?" he asked incredulously.

Chloe gave a single 'Ha'. "Pete, the boot doesn't have a lock, and yes you could've climbed through it to get into the back seat to snuggle with Schnitzel."

Pete looked at her blankly. "You mean I…This whole time…I…It…"

Kara walked from behind him and placed a soft hand onto his shoulder. "It's ok." She said softly. "You didn't know."

Chloe stepped towards them. Strapped around her was what looked to be an exact replica of the Ghostbuster's guns. Next to her were two more for Kara and Pete. "Who's ready to kick Jason Voorhees's butt!"

Pete, who's disappointment vanished upon seeing the guns, squealed. "Oh, I do!"

Kara pulled the vacuum-like machine onto her back. "Hey, these things are light. Who knew?"

Pete turned to Chloe. "Not that I don't think these are super-duper-OMG-awesome or anything, but why do you have these?"

"Because Pete, if there's one thing I've learnt from living in Smallville it's this: Always be prepared!"

Kara stood to one side of Chloe. "Yeah, CONSTANT VIGILANCE!"

Pete also took his rightful place on Chloe's other side, completing their holy trinity. Abruptly the sound of bored men talking about a local dispute with their council broke the moment. Pete smiled over at his 'team mates'. "Hey, it has a radio!" His smile turned into a frown instantly. "And its AM Talk Back Radio…NOOOOO!!!!!!"

* * *

With a crooked smile and a gleam in her eyes, Evil!Lois watched the three tinker with their weapons. 'Oh this is going to be delicious' She thought. She flew up into the air and cackled loudly "So!" She screamed at them "You think you can defeat me? With cleaning equipment no less, FOOLS!"

The 'Holy' Trinity stood unfaltering in front of their enemy. Pete bit his lip and leaned over to Chloe. "Say can Lois do that normally?"

Chloe rolled her eyes. "No Pete, she can't fly normally" She said dryly.

"Cos' that's so kick ass." Pete approved.

Kara slapped him in the arm. "Hey I can do that any day of the week!"

Pete shrugged. "Yeah, but it's just not the same. You're not human."

Kara pursed her lips. "Jerk." She muttered.

"Um guys can we get back to, you know, getting the evil soul out of my cousin? Yeah thanks." Chloe said over her shoulder.

By the time the three of them had look back at their enemy, Evil!Lois had crossed her arms over her chest and started counting the stars that could be seen through the dark clouds. "Um, we're finished now…" Chloe called up.

Evil!Lois looked down. "Huh? Not! You don't have your trusty vacuums on idiots! AHHHAAAA!" Suddenly she flew up higher, did a U-turn and became a possessed human missile.

"Sullivan, how DO you turn them on?" Kara hissed in panic.

"I, uh, I don't know." Chloe whispered back.

"WHAT?!"

Pete licked his lips as he pressed random buttons. "Hey I got something!"

The girls looked hopefully at Pete as Evil!Lois was a foot away from them.

"And we would like to hear your opinions on the state of the west river. Should the council do anything about it and waste the tax payer's dollars or should…"

"AAAAHHHHHHAAAAAA!!! NOOOOO!! AM RADIO!!!" Evil!Lois shrieked in pain. She dropped to the ground and withered in the dirt.

"Pete you did it!" Chloe hugged him, while Kara gave him a hi-five. "Turn it up louder!"

"NOOOO!!!!" Lois began to glow and shake violently. The light got to a point where she became too bright even for Kara's eyes and the three had to shield themselves from the harshness.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" Lois' scream shook the trees around them making the crows nesting to fly off.

BOOM!!

The force of Emily Rose rejecting Lois' body made the others soar into the air and land at the foot of the van. Hard.

And then all was quiet.

"Are you guys okay?" Chloe asked gingerly.

"Yeah." Kara muttered sitting up slowly

"I believe so, when I can get up without wincing" Pete said.

Chloe smiled. "I think your fine Pete." She looked over to her cousin's un-moving form. "Lois!" She ran shakily over to her. "Cuz' you alright?"

"C-Chlo?"

"Yeah?" Chloe slowly pull Lois up.

"Did you get the number plate of that truck?" Lois asked as she rubbed her neck.

Chloe laughed loudly and hugged her cousin tightly. "Sorry. I was too busy trying to stop a possessed cousin of mine from dive bombing us."

"What a bitch, huh?" Lois smirked.

"Do you remember much?" Kara asked as she and Pete walked over to the hugging cousins.

"Only a little. Did I really fly?"

Pete punched the air. "Oh hell yes!"

Lois smiled thoughtfully, then; "Kick ass."

"GUYS!" Lana and Jimmy come over to the four with Clark wrapped around their shoulders.

"Oh God, Smallville? What have I done?" Lois asked as she helped them with their burden. "We need to get him to a hospital."

"No." Kara said, taking Clark off of Jimmy's shoulder. "We need the sun."

Lois looked at her. "Did I hit you hard on the head too? Why would he need a sun and not a hospital?"

Chloe, Kara, Pete and Lana looked at one another and burst out with answers at the same time.

"Photosynthesis"

"The heat rays will help."

"Just 'Cos Lois"

"It's pretty?"

They stopped and looked at each other again.

"Trust me Lois'"

"Suns are nice this time of year. It'd be good for my cousin."

"Lois, my best friend is like a flower…"

"Heat + Wounds Happy."

Jimmy and Lois dryly looked at the four making excuses. Jimmy leaned over to whisper to Lois. "You must've done a real number on those guys."

"Whatever, we're taking him SOMEWHERE! Or he's gonna die people!!"

…

…

…

* * *

…

…

…

…

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Ka-BANG.

"Lois I say it once, I say it again: This van sucks. Oh, and Jimmy stop beeping the horn!"

The trusty mustard coloured van with no heating finally drove out from under the deep black and gray clouds. The sun pored into the windows of the vehicle. Jimmy was once again driving cheerfully to the music inside his head. Chloe, who was next to him, made a giant 'X' onto the map.

"Never going there again. Ever." She mumbled.

In the middle seats Lana was talking to Pete and Kara. It seemed that Kara gave Lana some credit for helping her 'little' cousin back at the mansion.

Lois leaned over from the back. "Does this mean you actually like Lana now?" She asked Kara quietly, smirking.

Kara smirked as well. "Oh, hell no!" And turned back to listen to Pete.

Lois smiled and eased herself back into her seat. She looked over at the person next to her. Clark was busy munching down on a burger the size of both his hands. He boyishly grinned at her before taking another bite.

She shook her head good naturedly, before something occurred to her. "Hey Smallville?"

Clark gulped down his food. "Yeah, Lois?"

"Didn't I kinda kill you? Or at least injure you critically?"

Clark shook his head. "Oh no, see I haven't been technically in the story since the bathroom scene with you and Lana last chapter." He took another bite.

The group turned to look at him. Jimmy glanced at him via rear view mirror. "What?" Chloe asked.

"Yeah." Clark answered with half his mouth full. "The person who did the whole sausage roll down the spiral staircase was Dave, my stunt double." He licked his fingers, finishing his burger. "Poor guy. See I went out to get some Pizza for us all and by the time I'd ordered I realised I wouldn't have made it back in time. So I called Dave to do it for me. Hmm, man he got to do the roll and everything!"

"But the guy died!" Pete told Clark.

"No" Clark smiled. "He's alright…" But it dimmed "At least I think he is."

Lois laughed at him before slapping him playfully in the arm. "You are such a dork. You skipped out on us for Pizza!"

Clark smiled sheepishly and shrugged his shoulders.

"Hey guys." Chloe called "Who wants to go to the Mall of America OR a little R&R at a place with a brothel next?"

The group then collectively went: "Um…"

* * *

A/N: Well Yikes! There's another chapter. Sorry about the whole not getting it here on time, my bad. Anyway as a sort of 'Sorry gift' to you all, you get to choose where they go next. The Mall of America OR a little town with a brothel (You all know something's gonna go down there)

Until then cheers guys!


	11. Out of the pan and into the Brothel

**Since it's my birthday I'm gonna give you all a nice big fat present.**

**Chapter 10:** Out of the frying pan, Into the Brothel.

"Hey Chloe, guess what?"

"What Jimmy?"

"I'm hungry."

"Yes Jimmy, just like you've said for every minute for over an hour."

"Ohhh, so that's why we're in the waiting line at Burger King. We're waiting for food!"

Chloe just closed her eyes. Sometimes she swore he did this just to mock her sanity. And every time he did, she was closer to losing it.

Every time.

Losing it.

The line moved forward slowly due to the lunch time rush. In the line next to them was a mother and her two children, complaining how hungry they were. The woman desperately was trying to play moderator to the loudness that were her own flesh and blood. Yeah, Chloe thought, see she could relate to that poor woman, whose face crumpled at the constant whining.

She felt, rather then saw, Jimmy creep into her personal space. His mouth carefully grazed her ear. Hello! This was new. Maybe Jimmy _wasn't_ always thinking with his stomach and maybe he was giving her some love and affection.

"Chloe." He whispered huskily. "Just letting you know in case you'd forgotten, I'm hungry, because you were looking awful intent like at those kids and, well, you know…" Moving away from her shoulder he gave her a thumbs up and a goofy smile.

Someday…She was going to lose it.

"Next please."

"Oh thank GOD!" Jimmy leaped up to the front counter and requested the groups order. "Okay let's see, I want one Triple Whopper…With cheese, three Angus Steak Burgers, one Double cheese burger…That's with cheese right?"

The kid serving them gave him a strange look "…Yes"

Jimmy smiled as he continued. "Good, good and I would also like an original Chicken Sandwich…They're always good. Six large Fries and three large onion rings. Oh! Chloe, Chloe can I have a Shake? Please? Please? Chloe? Please? Chloe, please? Please? Please Chloe? Please?"

"No"

He crossed his arms in front of his chest and pouted. "Awwwwwwwwww…"

"Jimmy just pay for it all with the Credit card and let's get out of here. I've got other hungry people on my schedule too you know." Glancing out the window she was certain she saw Pete and Clark wrestling in the garden.

"Fine." Jimmy grumbled, patting his pockets. "But I don't seem to have it."

Chloe gave him a look. "Jimmy you had it last."

"Did I? Cos' I don't think I did."

"Jimmy…You had it when we were at the fair."

The man in question suddenly acquired a far away look in his eye. "Oh…"

(County fair)

"My God! Bill…Hey, hey Bill! You better come here and take a look at your pig…"

Bill walked over to his yelling friend. "What about big old Luck-…JESUS!" He scanned around the tent furiously. "Why in the HELL, does my pig have a credit card up…It's…ASS!!"

(Back at Burger King)

Jimmy looked down at his fingers guiltily. "Well, I have no idea were it is."

The kid serving them cleared his throat. "Um, are you gonna pay for all this or not?"

* * *

"…So now we don't have any money." Chloe concluded

"Well, yay." Lois slapped Jimmy in the head.

"Hey! What was that for?" He muttered, rubbing his head.

"That was for losing the money kid. That credit card was borrowed from a very rich guy."

Clark spoke up and smiled. "And by borrowed, she means stolen from Oliver."

Lois frowned over at him. "Nu-uh, I mean that I borrowed, as in he knows I've got it."

Clark smirked. "You only told him you had it from a pay phone during our first pit stop." From the sudden look on Lois face, he knew he'd got her.

She sighed. "You say Potato; I say French Fries."

Pete slumped to the ground next to them. "Well now what do we do? Go home?"

Chloe gave him a look of pure horror. "No Peter. We do not go home. We do not call home. We do not even _think_ of home. No Peter, we deal with the situation. With little, to no thought… Of home. Understand?"

"And just how do we do that?" Lana asked, brown eyes gazing suspiciously.

"Do what?"

"Get money without going home or asking for help."

Chloe bit her lip. "I…Don't know. But give me a few and I'll guess something'll be figured out."

"Well." Lana sighed "As long as nothing happens to my face, I'm fine with what ever we do." With that, she stretched up and leaned her head on Pete's shoulder. "Hey, you have comfy shoulders Pete!"

Pete raised his head high. "Oh, don't I just!"

"Wait, why don't we all get jobs? Yeah, it'll be fun." Clark suggested.

Lois scoffed "No way Smallville. I don't care if it has been a crappy holiday-"

"Hey!" Chloe and Jimmy exclaimed

"- it's still a holiday. And correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think you go looking for work experience while you're on a holiday."

Clark crossed his arms, unconsciously mirroring Lois' own stance. "Well excuse _me_ if I'm wrong, but you don't get payed to do work experience Lois. That's why we're looking for a job. You know, where you get money for what you do."

Lois opened her mouth to counter his claim, but Jimmy got there first. "Oh, you mean like being a volunteer? Man, I would love to be a volunteer fireman."

"Uh, that's not what I meant Jimmy." Clark said softly

Jimmy look crestfallen "…Oh. So I can't be a volunteer fireman?"

"No, no, you can be what ever you want. Just, you won't get payed for it. Understand Jimmy?" Clark asked. The shorter man nodded slowly. "So it won't help in our situation."

"So I can do it when we get back home?"

Clark smiled "Yep. Hey, I'll even drive you to get signed up."

Jimmy pumped a fist. "Yes! Free ride!"

"I want to wash trains." Pete announced. He looked pleadingly up at Lois. "Can we wash trains?"

Lois cocked an eyebrow at the sitting man by her feet. She crouched down to his eye level. "No Pete."

"What? Why not?" Pete whined

"Because… do you see a train station around here?"

Pete looked around and shook his head. Lois continued "Do you see any train tracks?" He shook his head no. "Did you see anything resembling anything to do with trains when we drove in?" Another shake. She gave him a nod and stood back up. "And that Pete, that is why we can't wash trains for money."

"Ah, of course." He nodded finally. "But, what about buses?"

"What about being an astronaut? That could give us some great cash." Chloe muttered.

Lois rounded on her younger cousin. "An astronaut?"

"Well yeah, Clark looks healthy enough to be a space traveller."

Clark frowned "Oh yeah, pick on the guy who's already been in space." He whispered to himself.

"What am I, the sane one?" Lois sighed. "Chloe-"

The blonde put up a hand, stopping her older cousin. "I know, I know, no where near NASA… But you have to admit, good money."

"How about a lawyer?" Lana suggested. "That makes money and I bet I could be good at it…" She trailed off thinking.

(In another part of Lana's brain)

"Your honour." Lana, in her most sophisticated suit stood pointing at her client. Her dark eyes blazing as she sought out to defend the truth from Secrets and lies. "It is clear that my client, Miss Hart is innocent… For God SAKE MAN… The woman is wearing pink! She has to be innocent."

The judge nodded in silent approval. "I agree Ms. Lang, you've supported your client with one of the best defences I've ever come across, and I've been doing this for more than fifteen years. Miss Hart I find you not guilty."

(In the real world)

Lana sighed contently. "Yeah, another win for team Lana."

All occupants of the group watched her, an embarrassed silence making itself known through each passing moment. Clark cleared his throat loudly in an attempt to break it. "And as we move away from the awkwardness that is Lana. I have an idea as well."

"Good, cos' you're the practical one here Smallville, shoot." Lois smiled.

Clark grinned at them. "Two words guys: Ninja Pirate."

Lois' grinned dropped faster then a stone thrown from a 5th floor window. "What?"

Jimmy nodded mistaking Lois' question as curiosity. "Yeah, what's a Ninja Pirate?"

Clark draped one of his arms around Jimmy's shoulders. "Well Jimmy, a Ninja Pirate is kinda like…You watch cartoons right?"

"Oh yeah, all the time, can't get enough of them."

Chloe pursed her lips. "Trust me Clark, it's the truth."

"Nick tunes?" Clark asked generally interested.

Jimmy nodded vigorously. "All kinds."

"Great! Well a Ninja Pirate is like CatDog." He leaned forwarded slightly, Jimmy following intently, hanging off every word. "See, you can do secret Ninja stuff, but with guns, ships and the seven seas included."

Clark stood up straight and smiled at Jimmy, who gleefully looked back in awe.

"I want to be a Ninja Pirate!"

Lois rolled her eyes. "No one is going to be a Ninja or a Pirate, you got that." She quickly faced the group. "Please tell me you're all possessed and that what you just suggested we do for money was _not_ an idea formed in your own normal state of mind."

Pete sniffed at her. "Well jeez, I didn't here _you_ giving out suggestions Lois."

"That's cos' you didn't ask me, and before anyone does: Yes, I do have an idea and it's a whole lot more realistic than all of yours combined." She stated confidently.

"Fine." Chloe huffed. "What's your miracle money making job that's better then being apart of NASA then, huh?"

With a tilt of her head, Lois opened her mouth…

"I found a job!"

For a moment Lois looked confused. "That's not my voice." She looked down at her hands. "At least, I don't think that's my voice." She stared at Clark. "Was that my voice?"

"I would say no." He replied in amusement.

"Good."

Kara came jogging up to the group. "Hey, I found us all jobs."

Clark glanced around. "Hey yourself, where have you been?"

"You mean you all didn't notice I was gone?" Kara asked incredulously.

There was silence and then six guilt ridden heads shook 'no'. Kara rolled her eyes. "Of course you didn't. No, no please don't mind the new chick. I mean I was just gone for how long? And no one notices, not even my own flesh and blood…For shame cousin, for shame." Clark winced from the guilt boiling in his chest.

"I'm sorry…" Clark started out.

"NO!" They all yelled.

"No more brooding please. Clark, I love you like a brother, but we're on holiday." Chloe whimpered. Clark looked taken back, but stopped none the less. She turned to Kara. "How'd you know we had money troubles?"

Kara shrugged absent minded. "I overheard you. So I went and got us all some jobs at this local establishment… You can all thank me later when we have money and near a good clothes store with clothes in my size."

* * *

"Yes, thank you Kara. Thank you very much. You got us all jobs at the local BROTHEL!!" Lois steamed. "A Kent strikes again!"

Kara gave Lois a shocked gaze. "Hey! Brothel forward slash bar thank you."

Lois sneered at her. "Oh, my mistake"

"It's not so bad Lois." Lana soothed.

"Not so bad… Lana, look at me!"

The two women looked Lois up and down. Her fit body was clad in a tightly done up leather corset. A tiny red mini skirt attempted to cover the top of her long legs. Leather knee high boots completed the outfit of a hard worker at the brothel.

"Oh Lois, look at you all grown up, while the rest of us girls are dressed in maid outfits: The skank addition." Chloe teased.

"Well apparently they were out of my size." Lois replied through her clenched teeth. "Why do I always end up in these situations with you cuz?"

Chloe shrugged. "I dare not question the powers of the beyond."

"Oh, have a cry Lois." Came a voice from the shadows that cast the furthest wall in darkness.

"Yeah!" Came two more voices in disgust.

"At least you get covered up. At least you don't have to walk around like a piece of meat. At least you're not 'styled up' like us!"

"Please…" Lois scoffed.

The three men walked into the light of the room. "Look at you? Look at us!"

There standing in front of the ladies was Clark, Jimmy and Pete clad in the shortest gold sparkling shorts to have walked on the face of the earth. Lois, Chloe and Lana stood opposite the uncomfortable men with dangerous smirks on each of their faces.

Lana slowly walked up to Pete and squinted at the object around his neck. "Well, they do have a point. They have to wear wittle bow ties, with wittle gold stars on them." Lois and Chloe laughed at the look on the guys faces.

"…Shut up." Jimmy pouted.

"Yeah, do you have any idea where we dudes have to go?" Questioned Pete.

The girl's smiles just got wider at the many scenarios running through their minds. Clark frowned, annoyed. "At least you get to entertain the opposite sex…If you catch my drift."

Jimmy scrunched his eyebrows together. "Not really…Oh wait, now I do! Hmm…Wait…Oh…Yeah, I do. Aw man."

* * *

(In another part of the Brothel)

"They wanted jobs, I got them jobs. But apparently they aren't good enough. Humph, so I thought the place was just a bar. Shoot me down for trying to be helpful." Kara, in all her maiden glory, slowly explored the hallway in which she walked down. She guessed that the standard visitor normally didn't get to see this area of the building. It was dark, rusty and smelled of- "Lycra?" Kara bent down and picked up a tiny piece of gold material.

"Hmm, that's weird. It's like I was meant to see this to forward the overall plot of the story." She glanced around herself. "And now I'm getting the urge to use my powers to continue this forwarding. Curious."

Tilting her head slightly sideways, she activated her super hearing.

"87 bottles of fish guts on the wall, 87 bottles of fish.

Victor throws one down because he's pissed off at AC,

86 bottles of fish guts on the wall."

"Dude, your humour: it's not very good and is not helping."

"Not helping…? Aqua baby, you were the one who got us into this, what would you call getting yourself and team mate tied up in a random Brothel? A mess? No…"

"Hey, I said I was sorry. How was I to know not to touch the blue button?"

"Because it's a button you've never seen, let alone touched before. You just don't do it man."

"In my defence, normally those ones are red. It was blue…Blue, the colour of the ocean."

"Shut up Artie."

"I hate you."

"Yeah well, I hate you more."

"Nuh uh."

"Uh huh. Man, I don't think I'll be able to look Green been in the eyes when he and quick step find us."

"Meh, deal with it. I am."

"I'll deal with _you_ in a minute Artichoke. I have a chunk…A chunk! Of my shorts missing!"

Kara looked at the wall where the voices came from. She tried to see if the two men behind the voices were really being held captive, but the wall was conveniently lined with lead. "Ok, don't want to do a Kal and smash into a wall. So, where's that random blue button…"

* * *

A silent, shadowy figure quietly crept through the slightly opened window. Short spiked blonde hair faintly grazed the edge of its frame work. Landing gracefully from the short drop, they slowly stood to an upright position and gazed at the room surrounding them. A huff of exasperation slipped from their lips.

"You leave to do the grocery shopping for an hour and they're all kidnapped…Superheroes my ass." They started forward, carefully picking out their route to walk. "'Oh no, you go right ahead and do your 'womanly' duties, we've got it all under control…' Please."

Slipping out from the room The Black Cannery scoped out the dirty hallway. "I'll kill them all."

* * *

Jimmy sighed in frustration. "Dude, nothing's happening to us." Five other heads nodded in agreement.

"Maybe we just have to wait." Pete suggested.

Lana gave him a look. "Wait for what?"

Others suddenly had a far away look in their eyes and collectively sighed as one.

"A sign…"

* * *

Green and Red.

Meshed together.

Actually pretty sexy.

Bart smiled and nodded to himself. "You know, our colours look really good together if I do say so. Like Christmas."

"What!? Bart we're tied up together, basically swinging around in the air, the other half of our team is missing and all you can think about is how well our colours looked together!?" Oliver semi-yelled.

With their arms tied up above their heads, Bart struggled to shrug his shoulders. But the message was sent and Oliver rolled his eyes.

"Yo, it's not like I asked for us to be tied up together and hung from the ceiling." Bart reasoned. And that was just what the two of them were doing, hanging together by their wrists from the roof. "Hey, how lucky is it that the bad guys don't have sharks or something swimming under us?"

"Yeah Impulse, we sure are lucky." Oliver grimaced with his sarcasm. He glanced around the room quickly. "Alright, I've had enough. We're getting out of here. Impulse we need to swing, maybe we can weaken the bolts holding us in the roof."

"Yeah, we could do that. Or we could swing so I could hit that red button." Bart smirked over his shoulder. "It would be easier."

"And when were you going to tell me about the button?" Oliver asked

"When you asked if I had any ideas, my little gherkin. You know like in the comics. Two heroes are trapped and one can't see a way out. So they desperately turn to their comrade and ask 'Do you see any hope for us?' and then the comrade says-"

Oliver kicked him behind the knee. "Just swing Bart!"

"Swinging now."

Moving the combined weight of the two heroes right and left, they managed to get Bart's left foot near enough to the red button on a giant computer that Oliver some how missed. As the red running boot connected with the knob, their cuffs suddenly retracted and the men fell to the floor with a yell of surprise.

Oliver gingerly messaged his wrists as he ran to the door. "Come on, let's go find the others."

Bart picked himself up and dusted off his costume. "You better hope your lady friend is still shopping Ollie."

Oliver turned to face him. "Why is that Bartholomew?"

He tapped Green Arrows leather clad shoulder in sympathy. "Cos' she's gonna be _pissed_ at you for not letting her come. You'll be straight in the dog house."

"Yeah." Oliver whispered. "…I know. Cross fingers."

* * *

"That's it!" Clark stood up suddenly, his fingers crossed. "The signal, the sign… We gotta go."

The five others spread around him making the perfect line. He turned to his right and bumped fists with Lois. Then staring forward, he took a confident step self-assured…

"Hey, whoa." Lois interrupted.

Clark's shoulders fell. "Lo-is." He whinged "Come on! My big moment!"

"Deal Smallville, cos' you've missed placed Kara again." Lois smiled before getting a serious look. "Your own cousin Smallville, your own flesh and blood… For shame, Clark, for shame. You see me misplacing mine?"

* * *

"So you're Superboy's super powered cousin?"

"Yep."

"Yeah Fish, can't you tell, she and Kent have the same jaw line."

Kara grimaced. "Um…Thank you?"

After walking around in what seemed liked circles with the odd couple, Kara was ready to go home now. With or without the others. She didn't care if there was a point to Chloe Sullivan's vain attempt to get everyone out of the state of Kansas. She didn't care if Lana thought Australia was in driving distance from Kansas.

But what she did care about was getting the hell out of there (and of course if the others were safe).

Kara's blue eyes caught sight of a door that was up ahead of the trio. "Guys, I can see a way out of this hallway. I think we should take it."

AC smirked. "You're the leader."

"…Lead on." Victor encouraged.

* * *

Clark and Lois were discussing which way they should led the group to find Kara. Chloe, Jimmy, Lana and Pete just followed their leaders in awed silence. The two friends had led the group all around the twisted hallways and they still were no where near finding Clark's cousin. Why Clark didn't just use his powers three out of the four of them didn't know.

Clark abruptly stopped walking, making Lois run into his hard back. "Why would you do that?" Lois asked while rubbing her head.

Clark smiled at her. "I think we should go…"

* * *

"…Right. You want us to leave our comrades in this disgustingly dirty labyrinth because you're scared of Dinah?"

Bart turned swiftly to Oliver. "YES! Dude she is one scared bambina. How you're going to get in her pants is beyond me."

The green clad man gave his shorter friend a glare. "We're not leaving them behind and that's final."

"Fine, but I think we should figure this place out instead of running around looking like…"

* * *

"…Crap! This is the last hallway guys. Who would've thought they'd be another hallway behind the door from the last hallway? Weird." Kara let her gaze take in her surroundings. "Hey, I think there's a door right at the end there. Let's move boys." AC and Victor nodded and ran after the tall blonde woman.

"She would be an awesome add on to the team huh?" Victor whispered to AC.

AC nodded and grinned "Yeah I agree and not just cos' I think she's…"

* * *

"…Stuck. Now we are stuck in a room with four doors and they are now all locked. Nice one Smallville."

Clark rounded on Lois. "Hey, you followed me."

"Yeah, well guess what…"

* * *

"…Ollie, I found a button."

"Well then push it, let's get this thing…"

* * *

"…Free. I'll buy you and ice cream, you don't have to pay a thing. Just, Kara, open the door." Victor pleaded.

Kara smiled in triumph. "Kay'" Using her super strength she pulled the heavy metal door from its hinges…

* * *

Suddenly a group of three came face to face with a group of six. The silence of the room invaded everyone's senses. Then, as if they were given a hint, noise erupted from both groups.

"What are you doing here?" Group of three questioned.

"Us? What about you?" Group of six answered. "Kara why are you with those two?"

"You forgot about me/her again, didn't you?

"…No."

Silence once again claimed the room. A little more awkward then the first one. A tiny clicking sound started to come from the right of the room. The nine people all turned to look at the wall it was coming suspiciously from.

"Do I even want to ask?" A new voice in the room spoke up. Everyone turned away from the mysterious ticking noise and looked at the owner of the voice.

"Oh, hi Dinah. Did you finish shopping?" AC asked carefully.

"Shut up fisherman…What is that ticking noise?"

Clark shrugged. "Dunno. We were all wondering-"

"YYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!"

Suddenly the right wall flipped and Bart and Oliver crashed into the room. "BART!"

"What! You told me to push it!" Bart protested to the guy on top of him. He glanced up at the faces watching them in amusement/horror/embarrassment.

"Oh hey, Dinah…Clark…Lois…Chloe-lious…AC…Victor…Radom Blonde chick that looks like some sort of relation to Clark…Chloe's boyfriend who stole her from me, but I forgive and forget, because she's hot…Clark's friend who I've only met in his photos of when he was in high school. What up?"

Oliver gasped. "Dinah! You're not shopping! It's, ah, not what it looks like."

Dinah smirked as she bent down near the body pile that was green and red. "Sure it isn't Green…"

* * *

Back on the road, everyone was in they're rightful places. Jimmy was driving, Chloe was navigating, Kara was bored, Lana was sleeping, Pete was reading, Lois was watching Clark, The Justice League went home and Clark…was on a laptop.

Lois cocked an eyebrow. "What're you doing?"

"Vigorously voting in an online poll for my favourite fictional TV couple and most likely going to get ripped of for it, you?" Clark answered without taking his eyes of the screen.

Lois sucked in a large breath as she took out a small plastic card. "Protecting this card I borrowed off Oliver and watching you lose your mind is fun."

"Oh" Clark answered back absent minded. "That's cool."


End file.
